Glistening Pearls of Wisdom (or What I Learned on My Recent Trip to NYC)

1. If the thought "Hmm, that guy might be dead." crosses your mind when entering the subway, two seats is not enough room to put between him and you.

2. Don't share your street-vendor pretzel. When the person you are sharing with says "Your pretzel is stale and nasty." after obviously enjoying his pretzel, the urge to shove the remaining parts of your pretzel into said person's ear will be almost overwhelming.

3. It takes longer to get from the 80th to the 86th floor of the Empire State Building than it does to get from the 1st to the 80th.

4. In your walking adventures, try not to get stuck behind Europeans. Europeans don't walk like Americans. They have a tendency to stop suddenly and randomly move about in such a way as to make it impossible for you to smoothly pass them by.

5. You won't feel bad about not paying the full suggested price at The Metropolitan Museum of Art when you realize what they charge for a sandwich at the cafeteria. However, if you did pay the suggested price (even if you lied and said you were a student) your ham sandwich with a single leaf of arugula will be laced with bitterness.

6. Everything costs money. This shirt was on sale for 30% off of $14.95.



7. When looking up, watch out for crotches.


(Vivian was surprised to realize that in taking a picture of the airplanes she had inadvertently captured this artistically-shadowed bottom. I imagine the artist thinking, "You know I think people will be uplifted when they gaze skyward and get an eyeful of thong." (If this were government property, I hope Ashcroft would have Sharpie-ed in some gym shorts.)